My true purpose in life

What do you live for? Would you rather make a life or make a living?

This was a rhetorical question probed by my teacher in extemporaneous speech back in high school.

For the most part of my life, I have always dreamed of becoming a lawyer. In my elementary yearbook, I wrote that I wanted to become a lawyer and journalist inclusive of several flowery adjectives.

When I am asked what I do at present, my job title is Human Resource Management Officer II (HRMO II) in the municipal government of Kalibo hence, a lingkod bayan sworn to uphold and deliver public service at its finest.

I never really thought I would end up in the government service. My first dream was to become an astronaut and explore the vast universe. That sprouted from my fascination with stars and my name which meant “the only sun”. Then I aspired to become a scientist believing that I could invent the first time machine ever. I wanted to go back to prehistoric times and prove that dinosaurs from Jurassic Park did exist or travel to the future and see a new realm of robots, flying cars, and even perhaps experience teleportation.

During my adolescent years, I yearned to become a lawyer like my maternal grandparents. I was awed by their composure and self-confidence and how they delivered themselves in front of other people. I wanted to feel being inside a courtroom, battling for and defending the less privileged and those who suffered injustice and oppression. I believed it added more meaning to my life protecting them and winning their battles for them.

It was also during elementary that I discovered my talent and passion for writing and envisaged becoming a journalist and seeing my name on a national newspaper’s front page or writing the headline news for the day. I desired to be at the forefront of every national event, calamity, or even scandal. As a child, our imagination is as wild as could be and our reveries are not easily crushed compared to when we are adults.

Eventually, I took BS Psychology as my college course because I thought psychologists could read people’s minds. I was disappointed that we actually assessed their behavior in order to explain their way of thinking and their actions. Since pursuing clinical psychology meant additional years to study and becoming a guidance counselor had unit prerequisites and a board exam, I decided to pursue industrial psychology which meant human resource (HR).

However after graduation, I never really worked as an HR practitioner. In fact, I had diverse jobs through the years perhaps out of boredom from monotony. A technical consultant for the House of Representatives, event organizer in Subic, house cleaner and babysitter in Ireland, social media operations analyst for a Singapore-based company, private secretary of the local chief executive of Nabas, publisher and editor-in-chief of a local magazine in Aklan, training instructor and assessor for the Technical Education and Skills Development Authority, senior high school educator, contributor for national and regional newspapers, and consultant for smoke-free advocacy and tourism, culture, and arts.

It was in 2021, after more than a decade of working without a security of tenure that I applied and finally landed a job as HRMO II. I never really envisioned working in the government. I doubted myself to be qualified for the eight-to-five shift but after the pandemic, along with everybody else, I had the faint realization that when all else fails, the government is our last resort. With three kids, I was resolute it was high time to get settled long-term.

In a way, having a stable job for three years now is not just a blessing but a confirmation that I am indeed making a living. Back then when we managed our own family business, my husband and I used to joke that my work was being his secretary and his job was being my driver. However, it felt a little awkward jesting about it when our firstborn started going to school and asking if we actually had careers.

When I think about being a government employee, I think back to my aspiration of becoming a lawyer. It was a dream I was not able to nurture for reasons I could not even put together. Maybe I did not want to study anymore or maybe, at the back of my mind, I was scared I could not live up to the expectations of my grandparents albeit they passed away when I was in sophomore in college. I did not want to fall short of how they envisioned me to succeed so I suppose it was better not to try in the first place.

Providing service to my constituents while working in the municipal government really made me feel fulfilled which I thought that I could only attain by becoming a lawyer. I did not need to be inside a courtroom, present evidence before a judge and a jury, and monologue a tirade of defense or prosecution to find meaning in my life. I had to create change within the government system and use my network to provide exemplary service, not to mention quick and efficient. Ensuring that our municipal services are easily accessible to the people and assisting them with their needs made me feel that I was not only serving my purpose well, but I was creating a difference and leaving an impact in the lives of the people I was able to help.

On the side, my husband and I have also been doing volunteer and charity work for more than a decade and have even involved our children in what we do. It gives a reverberating feeling of fulfillment knowing that we are not only becoming a blessing to others and sharing our blessings but that we are creating a generation of kindness, compassion, and a pay-it-forward attitude. It is with fervent hope that the good that we do now is enough to create a lasting ripple effect continued by our children and by other people whose lives we have touched, for them to do the same and to keep the movement of gratitude going.

Finding our true purpose is revealed in an optimal time regardless of how long it takes in life. Outgrowing childhood dreams, realizing the essence of every little thing that we do, making choices and dealing with its consequences beyond our control, and incessantly persevering until life unfolds our reason for living makes up for every moment that we are alive. We take one day at a time and one life lived for unlimited purposes and for many people.

(Published in “The Meaning of Me” anthology.)

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Thank you so much to former Mayor Ninong Emerson Lachica for trusting me to be part of LGU Kalibo. To Mayor Juris Bautista Sucro for allowing me to continuously grow in the government.

To my boss, our MGDH I (HRMO) Manong Leenard Mabasa Cristobal, thank you for always guiding me and supporting me in all of my endeavors, both professionally and personally. To my OHRM Family, thank you for a healthy and happy workplace.

Happy three years in LGU Kalibo, self.